Gender Through the Lens

The study of Gender and Communications are in a way a lot like peanut butter and jelly because we need both of them to understand the other. Lets start out with gender first and that some men are more with some more feminine characteristics and some women with more manly characteristics. These characteristics tie into communication because we based these conclusions from how they communicate with the world. Lets look at the definitions of gender: "defined by society and expressed by individuals as they interact with others and media in their society". This is why if we look at Gender through the lens of communication we conclude that media and interactions with others has an affect on gender. Therefore, making gender a constant change in everyone's life because we always evolving. Also to look at communication through gender and example is a friend telling another that he is transgendered and the friend than having to change his views on the topic. This is how they are both reciprocated in society how to be and how not to be. But, ultimately they both have affects on each other and how they keep expanding. Take back in the civil war days lesbians and gays were not aloud to even be teachers. Now look at how far we have come with accepted lesbians and gays into the community. Don't get me wrong we are not completely there as far legalizing gay marriage. But, we are making positive steps in the right direction.

Gender and Violence

In class this week we talked about Gender and Violence. There is a stigma that it is only men who have violence toward women. According to statistics in domestic violence the reports show it is male dominated although there are cases where women are the violent ones. Our teacher brought up a very good question of is violence a form of communication? My first instinct when answering this question was to immediately go with a yes. But, than we talked about the actual definition of communication which is: "a dynamic process of managing messages for the purpose of creating meaning". According to this definition violence would not be considered to fall under this. But, when you look at the different forms of violence I believe that it is a definite form of violence. Take a threat for example it is against the law and considered violence. Most men with domestic violence problems use threats as a way of control. Therefore, to answer this question I believe violence can be in a lot of different forms not just threw messages. It could be walking into the room and you know your significant other is mad at you and they get you a hateful look that says it all. Violence and the word love are complete opposites yet somehow people in society find a way to make them mean the same thing. When a person is physically abusing someone they often say it is because I love you so much you have this effect on me. Love to me is caring, faithfulness, trust, communication, patience and unconditional. It is where you love someone completely for who they are not who you wish they were than get angry at them for not living up to expectations. Violence needs to only be in the category of what love is NOT. Love is not hurtful, violent, jealous and controlling. Jealousy is a common reason to get mad at someone you love. But if we are going to go back to the meaning of life, there is to be no jealous and hatred toward other human being. My favorite  outlook on love is in the bible in the first Corinthians. I think you all know the message from that bible chapter. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not jealous. Love does not boast. All of those qualities sum up what love should be and how violence is the complete opposite of those. Everyone has there different definitions of love, but they all come down to the same meaning in the end and that is how love should be a phenomenal feeling that lifts you up. It should not be hurt to love someone and when violence is involved hurt consumes the abused person.

Post Colonial Feminism

This week in class we learned about Post Colonial Feminism. This has opened a new way for me to look at non-white and non-western women. Until this discussion I looked past how there is a set generalization put on these women. This is called the danger of a single story. Chimamanda Adichie is a writer and she helps explain how when we only hear a single story about another person we tend to have a misunderstanding of a culture. Adichie is from Nigeria and when she moved to the United States she talks about the expectations put on her for being a Nigeria woman. An example she gives is when her American roommate asked if she could listen to her tribal music and she goes onto say that she put on a Mariah Carey album. These are the dangers we face believing a single story we hear. Adichie also brings up John Locke's writing about Africa being negative and therefore opening up this whole view on Africa for many people to be negative. The way to avoid these dangers is to realize that one single story does not define a culture. In this class on the first week we learned the most important topic that has personally helped guide me to better understand Gender and Communications and that was gender expectations. This is putting expectations on everything in society to be a certain. For a girl to dress a certain way and act a certain. It goes the same way with cultures and colonial feminism because we put expectations on these women to act how we have read about their culture. Last semester I took a cultural anthropology class and it talked about ethnocentrism which is the belief that your own culture has a superiority on all other cultures. The only way to relieve this ethnocentrism was to go visit the culture and live their life through their eyes instead of just reading about it from an article or someone else's point of view. That is what Adichie is asking us to do in her writings and speeches, is to not be close minded to just one story and realize that their are many stories that make up a culture.

violence in relationships

For my blog this week I chose to write about violence in relationships. This is a subject I am familiar with in my own life. My sister married a guy that had domestic violence in his past and told her that it was the previous women's fault as to why they got hit and choked out. He then ended up doing the same to her and spraining her trachea. Violence in relationships is very dynamic because the infamous question that always gets asked is why did they go back to them? The book breaks it down into 4 stages. The first stage is where tension builds and the abusive partner than blames the other for problems or not being supportive. This stage is the emotional abuse of using language and threats. Than the second stage occurs and this you can relate to chinobyl because it is an explosion of anger resulting in physical violence. Than comes the third stage where the abuser becomes very remorseful and apologizes. The abused person than sees and remembers the good side of the abuser and accepts the apology. Than comes the fourth stage and this is called the honeymoon stage where the abuser over compensates the sweetness and the couple feels as if they are back to normal. Than the stages keep repeating themselves. Abusers are in a way sociopaths because they know exactly what to say and do to keep getting thier partner to come back to them. Most men with domestic violence problems have a long history of abusing more than one girl. It becomes a disease or desire to have that much dominance over another person.

Gender Bias

As an observer in my own college classes I have found that my philosophy teacher views women from the typical stereotypes society puts on women. For an example he was talking about his wife in a prior class and was telling a story and justified it with that is because women are more emotional. In my Gender and Communications class I have been opened up to a whole new view on how to look at gender bias without generalization. Sit and reflect and I bet you can think of men that tend to be more emotional than girls. If the world keeps viewing gender with expectations on it than our society will keep growing up to fill those expectations instead of keeping thier own originality.
As we have learned in class a big part of non profit organizations is educating the community about issues important to the organization. The organization that I am volunteering with is The Whitehouse Project. A lot of what this organization does is networking through the internet about events. One event that shows they care about the community is volunteering at the plan parenthood for pro choice. Another example is how they empower women. I have enjoyed learning in my Gender and Communications class how women do not always have to be the passive ones and can go as far as men. My organization focuses on women being equally successful in getting government jobs. An example of my organization empowing women is thier facebook page when they state that women could make 210,000 in additional income if equal pay were the norm. Just being a part of that organization and reading about the things that they do weekly to motivate women has been a pleasure and refreshing for me as a young women.

Volunteer work with The Whitehouse Project

Today I met with my volunteer organization called The Whitehouse Project. From the two visits I have had with my organization I have learned the importance of networking through the internet. Katie Groke had me open a twitter account and add The Whitehouse Project as a follower. Through this I saw how putting events and information on their page can help spread the word about the goals The Whitehouse Project wishes to meet. One of the expectations I have about my organization is that I want to be one of the helpers that reaches out to the public to get more followers. I am achieving this goal by finding business's around the area that will put on thier events page when The Whitehouse Project has speakers and events for the organization. Some examples of these are Westword and The Denver Post. Another expectation that I have is to learn as much as I can about how to get women in office. These expectations are supported because many of Katie's colleague's and supporters believe in the use of networking through the internet and teaching followers around the world what it takes to get women in office. In class we talked about how men get a certain dominance in language.Such as us saying the mailman instead of the mail women. While working for this organization I have learned how they use this to their advantage because on their twitter account they have a quote from a mail saying "It can't be that men are more indispensable to the workplace- or to the government-than women." -Prime minister Jens Stoltenberg. When I read this quote while catching up on my twitter for the organization it reminding me completely of this class and women striving to get the same equality as men.

Women's and Men's movements

The woman's movement that I most identify with is the lesbian feminism. I am a lesbian and also agree with the feminist goals and outlooks. As explained in the book lesbian feminists are women identified and heterosexual women are male identified. Both strive for the same goals to end discrimination against all women including lesbians. I also identified with this because the commitment is also to getting lesbian couples the same property, insurance, and legal rights granted to heterosexual spouses. This group uses their voices to respond to social criticism about their sexual orientations. Second some lesbian feminists go to rhetorical strategies to assert their value, rights, and integrity. This movement has a huge impact on me because when I get married I would like to have the same rights as heterosexual couples. The movie "If These Walls Could Talk 2" does a very good job of illustrating why it is so important for lesbian couples to get equal marriage rights as heterosexual couples. In the movie their is a devoted lesbian couple that lived together and although not technically through the state or laws eyes were married. One of them passed away and her kids and family got all of her belongings and the house. If this couple was able to have the same laws of heterosexual couples the house would have been both of there's and wouldn't be going up for sale with the family taking it over.
The men's movement that I most identify with is the Mentors in violence Prevention. This group educates men about socialization that ties masculinity to violence and aggression. My sister was a victim of domestic violence, so I have seen violence from men in the ugliest of lights. I believe with this group that some of it can be on what society depicts how men should be.Which is the dominant one and with that dominance some men can take it too far into physically becoming controlling. This program also believes in how peer influence has a big affect on young men who start to date. Studies have shown men are more likely to be violent towards their partners if they are associated with peers who verbally endorse or engage in violence against female partners. I believe both of these movements are very helpful to making society a better and more open environment. From getting support for the LGBT movement to educating men on how to rid themselves of any violence towards women. If that is taught at a young age I believe it can be avoided and if their is enough support and movements for the LGBT community than equal rights through marriage can be achieved.

Gender Language

In class we talked about gender communication. It was refreshing to take a deep look into this because it is amazing how we look past how much our language sees a man as an individual and a wife defined by her relationship to the man. For example when getting married the vows go "I now pronounce you man and wife". keyword the man being before the word wife. Another example of how women get excluded in language is by male generic language. This is where women are included but men only get referred to. In other words a businessman, postman, and spokesman. Spotlighting gets discouraged which would be to put those terms as lady doctor and woman lawyer. This shows how men get put as the standard.

Gender Expectations

a) describe and reflect on one interaction with your parents or guardians the earliest you can remember that communicated expectations for your gender
b) the most recent interaction with someone who communicated expectations for your gender

a) The earliest interaction with my Mom that I can remember that had to do with my gender expectations was when my Mom purchased some ties for my job which is waitressing at the Olive Garden. She got the ties discounted from goodwill and all of the ones she could find were mainly dark colors and male colors. This was an expectation for my gender to have more girly ties with brighter more feminine colors such as pink, yellow or orange.
b) The earliest interaction between someone else I had was with a coworker when I went to go get a refill for a salad at work. Which normally get refilled by the men at work due to them being on the heavier side. the comment was referring to me being strong. This goes in the category of gender expectations because females are expected to be not as strong as men. When in actuality some females can be stronger than most men.